Friday, 29 December 2006

Turkey, Cats and World Domination

So I was thinking, I can't just keep saying 'My Owner'... well I could but that would just be stupid, he has a name so I may as well use it. Besides, he hates his name almost as much as I hate mine. I kid you not when I tell you his name is Ignatius Snoxall. That's him on the right by the way, he's 13. That's enough about Iggy though, you want to read about me not him. Who can blame you? I'm far more interesting than any human even if I do say so myself.

I sometimes contemplate world domination. I'd be good at that, though being of dubious existence I'm not entirely sure it would work. I was going to give it a try over this holiday you call Christmas but it looks like the turkeys beat me to it. Poor things, they must have gone wrong somewhere in their strategy because it seems that most of their population was overcome. You humans even cooked them and served them for Christmas dinner, no doubt a warning to any fellow turkeymen that may be left. I'm still eating the leftovers you know, Iggy declared it was no longer fit for human consumption and promptly put it in my food bowl, charming. Still, it's better than sprouts. I had more wind than a brass band after a couple of those.

I fancied a change from turkey yesterday, but apparently eating the next door neighbours cat isn't the polite thing to do. I tried to tell them it was okay, I'm not polite but they didn't listen. I was sent to the dog house as punishment until they remembered we don't have one. They sent me to Iggy's room instead, I think they were worried I'd eat the cat if they sent me outside.

I think I'll try world domination in June, June's a good month don't you think?


Fluff

5 comments:

Dark Ronin said...

Well June usually is a good time for world domination. Most of the people are too busy sunbathing to bother with all that heroic stuff, lol.
Just be careful once you're in power that all the cats don't decide to form an army in revenge for past attempted eating!
Although you could always keep a supply of sprouts to deal with them ;) lol

Fluffy said...

Ah yes, I shall start to save a sprout a day. I think eating the worlds cat population may be a little optimistic but it was one of my plans. Maybe I could just eat the local ones so there's none to pass on news of my attempted cat eating antics?

I'll save the sprouts as a back up. Always have a back up plan!

Fluff

Khylan Seriphyn said...

Hi Fluff. You might want to meet Atyllah the Hen when you get the chance. She can dump a whole case load about human's and their, er, behaviours. I'm sure turkey consumption is on her red hot to peck at list..

Atyllah said...

The Draconians, young Fluff, have world domination taped. By the way, given that you're a dragon, are you perchance related to them?
The rest of the multiverse, I have to warn you, doesn't take too kindly to Draconian activities, though I do confess that on bad days there are many species who wouldn't mind giving humanity somewhat more than just a few words!

Wilf said...

I think February is a good month for world domination. Christmas is finished, school is well and truely going and Easter is a lifetime away. It is a very boring month and needs some livening up.