The Art of Fire

I forgot to e-mail the school but it would seem Dragon School isn't actually optional, I just received a letter anyway, saying that I have now been enrolled. I got sent a reading list as well, where on earth do you by books for dragon school? The big bookshop in town thought Iggy was joking when he asked if they could get The Art of Fire: Combustible Snot for Beginners. I think there must be an online bookshop, I'll have to check.

Other books included were:

• A Brief History of Mankind (apparently only 4 pages long)
• A Concise Overview of Dragonlore (10 Books! Not pages, whole books!)
• Humans - Friend or Food?
• How to Avoid Hero Breath, and other useful tips.

I don't know what the lessons will include but I'm starting to look forward to it now, not long to wait!

Whatever next?

Three days ago the strangest thing yet happened... a letter arrived. For me. It came though the letterbox with all the other post, it was a bit warm and scorched several bills but no one really minded that. Anyway, it cleared up any of the doubts I may have had about my identity I can tell you. This is the letter:

So you see, it's official. I am a dragon. A snot combusting, firebreathing, purple scaled, sharp clawed, large winged, highly intelligent dragon. I'm not to sure what this dragon school is though, I don't think I'll apply I like it here with Iggy.

Fluff x

Mad dogs and crazy Englishmen

Tabitha is still staying with the family so my Marmite crisp supply is still good although she decided chocolate spread wasn't good for me. Is chocolate spread good for anyone?

The sheep continues to do... not a lot. I very nearly (accidentally I hasten to add) barbecued it but it happened to move just as I sneezed so the disaster was averted. I think Mr S. may have spent too much time observing it, it seems to be quite attached to him.

Iggy had his friend round to visit for the last 2 days and I have to say he is the strangest boy I have ever met (not that I've met that many). He agreed with Tabitha that I am not a dog, which is an acceptable assumption and I too have been wondering this. It was after this that he got strange, perhaps even a little mad (the crazy, nutty, lost your marbles kind of mad). We were sat in the kitchen, myself, Tabitha, Iggy and his friend Max. Tabitha was feeding me Marmite crisps and Max was staring at me with a slightly horrified expression (not everyone likes marmite so I wasn't alarmed). "Where did you say you got it?" he asked Iggy. It? It? Whatever next.

"Dunno really, she just sorta turned up one day, she looked a bit of a mess so we took her in." I can't really remember much about how I ended up here but I'm sure I could never have looked a mess!

"You know she's not a dog right?" I stared at him and he made a weird squeaking type noise I wasn't aware humans made. "She's a... erm... a... You have a pet dragon!"

I couldn't help it... I honestly tried not to but I laughed. Somehow the laugh triggered some sort of nasal combustion again and the beautiful flowers in the middle of the table weren't quite as beautiful any more. When I tried to point out that dragons are not real Max fainted. I'm hoping it was due to shock rather than my breath but Tabitha gave me a mint just in case.

I can't be a dragon can I? I mean... they don't exist! I'm so confused.

Fluff x

Is it a cloud, is it a plane, no it's... really boring

Well, I'm a bit concerned about The Sheep. It started making some very odd sounds earlier, a sort of 'blarghhhhhhh'. Is it normal for them to do that?

I did a bit of research about sheep. Apparently you can tell how old a sheep is by looking at it's teeth. I wonder if that works for humans too? Can't say I'd like to stick my paws in their mouth though. I tried with Iggy but he didn't think much of the idea. I also found out that they run when they are afraid, so The Sheep is either very brave or very stupid because so far I've only seen it move to go to the loo and to eat.

I'm going to go with very stupid.

And now for Tabitha! That's her on the right, she's Iggy's cousin but she is staying with the family for a while because of some decorating at home. She's only 4 and sometimes thinks it's fun to pull my tail. I don't mind because she feeds me chocolate spread and Marmite crisps (not at the same time though because that would be disgusting).

She likes to dress up and told me this morning that I'm not a dog. Coming from a girl who says she's a dragon I wasn't too worried, we all know dragons don't exist.

Oh, I even managed not to set fire to anything today, or melt anything and I haven't stuck my claws through anything important, yet. I better go before I do.

Fluff x

The Sheep

This is The Sheep. Iggy says it should be called Minty, which I'm sure probably isn't very nice.

Anyway, Mr S informs me that all it seems to do is eat and poop. Nothing at all sinister has happened, nothing even vaguely shocking. Oh, except for the smell, it certainly shocked me. I'm not sure it was the sheep though because Mr S went strangely quiet as it wafted past, which is quite unlike him.

I don't know much about sheep. I think I'll do some research, that way I'll be ready for it's attack. It's my turn for watch duty in a moment so I'll have to go. I'll let you know how it went tomorrow. Oh, I said I'd tell you about Tabitha... I don't have time now so I'll dig out a picture for tomorrow and tell you about her then as well!

Fluff x

Ooops I did it again... and again... and again...

Ok, firstly I want to explain why it's taken so long for me to post. There are a few reasons behind this absence:

1. The combustible snot. After accidentally discovering how flame retardant most of the house furniture wasn't, it was decided that it may be better if I didn't have access to the rather expensive computer. I can see the logic.

2. The growing. I've been growing... a lot. I spent 2 days stuck in the dog house backwards before Iggy realised I wasn't sulking but actually wedged so tightly that I was in danger of gassing myself if I farted. Wouldn't like to think what would happen if I sneezed too. Incidentally, claws are extremely difficult to type with, if you press too hard you can actually impale the keys on them.

3. The new pet. I'm not too sure what it is but it isn't a dog. Or a cat. Iggy says it's a sheep but I'm not convinced. It's all fluffy and 'cute' looking (Tabitha's description, certainly not mine) and makes strange noises. It doesn't appear to have a brain although I assume it does and I trust it even less than Mr S.

The move to the new site is also postponed, Iggy assures me he'll 'get round to it', he just doesn't want me to melt his PC.

Now for the news, Mr S and I have called a truce. Since the arrival of The Sheep we have been united in our mistrust and have set up a strict watch rota. If this so called sheep makes one wrong move we'll know about it... unless Mr S falls asleep again.

Oh and if you were wondering wh Tabitha is I'll explain all next tim. I hav t g nw, Iggy's cming and I hav tw lttrs stuck t my claws.

Fluff x

P.S. I wasn't hr, yu didn't just rad this...

Not gone.... just moving :)

Yes, I know I've been gone for a while but it's not because of anything sinister. I'm going to be moving to a shiny new website, once Iggy has finished messing around with it that is. I'll soon be back to keeping you lovely people updated on my progress and the deviousness that is Mr S! Believe me, there is a lot to catch up on... especially my accident with the the tv remote, hehe.

Back Soon!

Fluff